I've been LMAO reading some things around the web in the last day about sex addiction.
Sex Addiction? What a BFG! (Big Fucking Joke). Is this how we get out of trouble these days, by claiming that we are a victim of our own behavior? And is this how society restores its belief in people--by excusing their behavior on account of a mental health diagnosis? (which is not an actual diagnosis) Is it the act of having too much sex that makes it an addiction? Or wanting too much sex?
According to Medicine.net:
The term "sexual addiction" is used to describe the behavior of a person who has an unusually intense sex drive or an obsession with sex. Sex and the thought of sex tend to dominate the sex addict's thinking, making it difficult to work or engage in healthy personal relationships.What is the behavior of a person with an usually intense sex drive? Are we assuming that they are having lots of sex? Because we wouldn't actually know unless they admitted it, or got caught.
Then again, what is an unusually intense sex drive? Compared to whom? How do we know what a normal sex drive is if sex is so taboo and morally restricted in our culture and your average Joe and Jane aren't going out publicizing their sexual actions and fantasies? If you are having good sex you are likely going to think about that sex. If you having great sex, you are likely going to be thinking about that even more. On the other hand, if sex is dominating your thoughts and making it difficult to work, maybe you actually need to have sex so that you can get rid of that urge...and then you would go on think about how great that last encounter was, while you are at work! Is this any different than thinking about that American Idol episode you saw last night? Or thinking about that interview you just had?
How might sexual addiction make it difficult to engage in healthy personal relationships? If you are honest with the people who need to know about your sexual nature, there would be no difficulty. The problem lies in the denial or the repression of its existence.
Sex addicts engage in distorted thinking, often rationalizing and justifying their behavior and blaming others for problems. They generally deny they have a problem and make excuses for their actions.But liking sex a lot is not a problem. Having lots of sex is not a problem. Again, the only way you need to rationalize, justify, or blame others is because you have been in denial or are dishonest.
Behaviors associated with sexual addiction include:This list is about the most ridiculous compilation I've ever seen. The last two items have to do with power and control issues. And some of the others are things that people do that society has placed judgement on. And the others are just plain "out there."
* Compulsive masturbation (self-stimulation)
* Multiple affairs (extra-marital affairs)
* Multiple or anonymous sexual partners and/or one-night stands
* Consistent use of pornography
* Unsafe sex
* Phone or computer sex (cybersex)
* Prostitution or use of prostitutes
* Exhibitionism
* Obsessive dating through personal ads
* Voyeurism (watching others) and/or stalking
* Sexual harassment
* Molestation/rape
Can't a person love sex without it being an illness? Can a person love anything these days?
Generally, a person with a sex addiction gains little satisfaction from the sexual activity and forms no emotional bond with his or her sex partners. In addition, the problem of sex addiction often leads to feelings of guilt and shame. A sex addict also feels a lack of control over the behavior, despite negative consequences (financial, health, social, and emotional).But what if you do gain a lot of satisfaction? That would be a reason to continue having or wanting good sex. And why is an emotional bond necessary if we are talking about a physical desire? This isn't a requirement. Why should someone feel guilt about having or liking sex? Is this really about sex, or something else?
I am beginning to think that our society is, in general, sexually dysfunctional. And perhaps, in actuality, some people are jealous of others' sexual prowess. We see sex everywhere almost 24 hours a day and yet we argue over when, and how much sexual education we should be giving the youth. Women are expected to carry themselves a certain way, but be sexpots in the bed, but when they are open about sex, or too sexy, we shame them. And yet half the population of women either haven't experienced an orgasm, or aren't having one with their male partners. And then we have men talking, rapping and singing about sex with our expectation that they are somehow different from, or the same as the words that they speak--as if there weren't some woman out there who is meeting, or can meet and match their desire. And then we have men like John Walsh and Mark Lunsford, who are committed to defending our children against sexual predators, and yet they claim to have sexual compulsions of their own. And then there was Kirk Franklin...
I think Robin Thicke is right on time. People don't need sex addiction treatment, they need Sex Therapy!
This is the sexiest song I've heard in a loooong time. Thanks Polow da Don!
Stressed out, uptight,
over worked, wound up,
unleash what you got,
let’s explore your naughty side,
follow me where we go,
we don’t need no bread crumbs,
cant you see baby,
you’re the only one,
you are woman,
you are woman,
let me be your medicine,
cuz I got one thing on my mind,
I’ll be your valentine,
spread your wings and baby fly away
(Chorus)
It’s your body,
you can yell if you want to,
loud if you want to,
scream if you want to,
just let me love you,
lay right here girl,
don’t be scared of me,
give you sex therapy,
give you sex therapy,
It’s your body,
we’ll go hard if you want to,
as hard as you want to,
soft as you want to,
just let me love you lay right here,
I’ll be your fantasy,
give you sex therapy,
give you sex therapy,
Whoa (4X)
Whoa (4X)
Baby let’s settle for you to,
just let your baby ,
I’ll lick you down,
make you feel like you got a body,
ha Ha Ha Ha Ha the doctor’s here four you,
take you like Twilight,
I'll bite your neck,
you don’t have to stand in the rain
I’ll get you wet, yea
push you up against the wall,
turn you out and turn you on,
yea, yea, whoa
(Chorus)
It’s your body,
we can nut if you want to,
loud if you want to,
scream if you want to,
just let me love you,
lay right here girl,
don’t be scared of me,
give you sex therapy,
give you sex therapy,
It’s your body,
we’ll go hard if you want to, (Baby its your body)
as hard as you want to,
soft as you want to,
just let me love you lay right here,
I’ll be your fantasy,
give you sex therapy,
give you sex therapy,
Whoa (4X)
Yea (4X)
Girl it’s your body,
we can do whatever you like,
girl its your body,
we can do whatever you like,
It’s your body we can ride and rock and roll,
ride and rock and roll,
ride and rock, oh oh oh oh,
(Chorus)
It’s your body,
we can nut if you want to,
loud if you want to,
scream if you want to,
just let me love you,
lay right here girl,
don’t be scared of me,
give you sex therapy,
give you sex therapy,
It’s your body,
we’ll go hard if you want to,
as hard as you want to,
soft as you want to,
just let me love you lay right here,
Girl dont be scared of me,
give you sex therapy,
give you sex therapy,
Shawty, shawty it’s your body,
we can do can do can do, (sex therapy)
shawty, shawty it’s your body,
we can do whatever you like,
just let me love you,
lay right here girl,
don’t be scared of me,
give you sex therapy,
give you sex therapy.
And If this song doesn't sexually move you, nothing will:
get up, get up, get up, get up
wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
Ooh baby, now let's get down tonight
Baby I'm hot just like an oven
I need some lovin'
And baby, I can't hold it much longer
It's getting stronger and stronger
And when I get that feeling
I want Sexual Healing
Sexual Healing, oh baby
Makes me feel so fine
Helps to relieve my mind
Sexual Healing baby, is good for me
Sexual Healing is something that's good for me
Whenever blue tear drops are falling
and my emotional stability is leaving me
There is something I can do, I can get on the telephone and call you up baby
And my emotional stability is leaving me
There is something I can do
I can get on the telephone and call you up baby, and
Honey I know you'll be there to heal me
The love you give to me will free me
If you don't know the things you're feeling
Oh I can tell you, darling, that it's Sexual Healing
Get up, Get up, Get up, Get up - let's make love tonight
Wake up, Wake up, Wake up, Wake up - 'cos you do it right
Baby I got sick this morning
A sea was storming inside of me
Baby I think I'm capsizing
The waves are rising and rising
And when I get that feeling
I want Sexual Healing
Sexual Healing is good for me
Makes me feel so fine, it's such a rush
Helps to relieve the mind, and it's good for us
Sexual Healing, baby, is good for me
Sexual Healing is something that's good for me
And it's good for me and it's so good to me
My baby ohhh
Come take control, just grab a hold
Of my body and mind soon we'll be making it
Honey, oh we're feeling fine
You're my medicine open up and let me in
Darling, you're so great
I can't wait for you to operate
get up, get up, get up, get up - let's make love tonight
wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up - cause you do it right
(hear me my darling)
I can't wait for you to operate
When I get this feeling,
I need sexual healing
oh when I get this feeling,
I need Sexual Healing,
I gotta have sexual healing, Darling
'cos I'm all alone
sexual healing, darling,
'till you come back home
By that logic , those pedophile priests were "sex addicts". They couldn't control themselves *sarcasm*.
My opinion on the Tiger Woods situation is that if Elin Nordegren was the one cheating she would be called slut , gold digger etc.
You are so right re: Elin (oh and the priests). And I guess, paradoxically, the idea of female sex addict is...impossible.